I use to think the Smile 2020 Data Plans were great…until I discovered a dirty secret they don’t really want you to know.
If you’re a Nigerian currently thinking about purchasing a Smile data bundle this 2020, I’m here to reveal some facts to you that will make you rethink that decision.
Back when I was excited about Smile data plans in January 2020…
Like I mentioned, I used to be a strong advocate of Smile Nigeria. This was way back in January (before all this Corona madness) when I would watch my brother surfing the internet with the 4G enabled Wi-Fi Modem his office had given him.
Don’t get me wrong – the Smile WiFi is fast. That’s what you get when you use a 4G LTE connection.
Problem is with every introduction of new leaps and breakthroughs in internet data speed, I cringe because I know it only means one thing for we who live in Nigeria: The faster it is, the faster it will chop our data.
And it doesn’t help that the data isn’t affordable to begin with.
First it was GPRS during the Nokia Symbian Era. Then it was EDGE during the BlackBerry Era. Then we had 3G, 4G and now everyone appears psyched up about 5G enabled phones.
And if you are a Nigerian, you’d better wipe that smug grin off your black face.
Or don’t you know that the core idea behind the advancement of this mobile internet connectivity is simply to allow greater upload and download speeds?
While this sounds nice in theory, in reality, it means if 4G was used to clearing your 5GB data in 2 weeks, what do you think 5G connectivity is going to do?
My frustration with the 2020 Smile data bundle plans
First and foremost is that bloody useless “promo” on their Mifi device that states that you get 90GB data and other freebies when you buy their N14,800 Mifi.
Now when you look at this and compare it to the N12,500 Mifi that supposedly ships with just 25GB data, it looks like the former is a great bargain, so you foolishly go ahead and buy the 90GB for N14,800.
You’re feeling like a boss now. Streaming HD YouTube videos, watching Instagram videos, binge-watching WhatsApp Status videos and basically feeling like you’ve got 90GB worth of fuel that can never finish…until the first 30 days end and you’re like:
It’s then you’ll realize the truth that:
Number 1: The so called 90GB is only valid for 30 days. Unused data does not roll over. If you didn’t finish it within those first 30 days, well, it’s gone!
Number 2: The so called 90GB is not actually 90GB flat. It’s really 60GB with the remaining 30GB to be spread out over the next 6 months but there’s a catch…you can get this remaining 30GB in releases of 5GB a month as long as you recharge new data from the N3,000 for 5GB data option, if not, well it’s also gone!
Smile’s night time and day time data plan split
Please can someone at the Smile office in Nigeria just tell me why the F*ck they divide virtually all their data plans into Night and Daytime allowances?
It’s bad enough it’s expensive. It’s bad enough it’s small. Now you had to divide it as well?
And that’s not even the kicker.
As it turns out, when you use up your Daytime data allowance, the Night allowance suddenly doesn’t go through anymore. It’s as if they hinged the validity of the Night time data on as long as the Daytime data lasts. I mean, WTF is wrong with you?!
Okay, if that’s the case, I paid for 5GB at N3,000, used about half of that (my Daytime data allowance) and it finished. You day I automatically can’t use the Night allowance. E pain me well well but I say it’s fine.
Oya what about my extra 5GB monthly bonus from the 30GB you say will be allocated to me for the next 6 months? Where the F*ck is it? I asked a Smile customer care representative this question (without the vulgar language obviously) and what did I get…no reply. She never responded to my email till today.
Then there’s the Smile unlimited data cap palava…
Most of you don’t yet know that if you buy an “Unlimited” data plan from Smile, it really isn’t unlimited.
There’s something they call a “Fair usage policy” which caps your internet speed at 2Mbps for the first 30GB or 60GB you use and reduces speed to 1Mbps the moment you cross 30GB and 60GB till the end of your plan.
If you’re going to do such rubbish, please stop calling it “Unlimited”. It’s insulting to people like us who consume data on an abnormal level and it’s deceiving.
For these reasons and probably more lurking out there, I’ve resolved to dump my Smile Mi-Fi device complete with it’s SIM, charger and other documentation that come with the package.
I’d rather use my MTN SIM and buy 10GB data I can trust for N4,000 from Speedydata.com.ng while connecting my Laptop to my phone Hotspot over 4G LTE.
A final word to Smile Nigeria
If you like change your ways; if you like continue, na you sabi. Me I don Japa.
If you like pursue me to take down this post, if you like, call Olopa, na you sabi.
I’m done with your punk ass…and I just wrote over 1,000 words via my phone with aching fingers just to let you know how pissed I am.
Conclusion: My Smile Mi-Fi is now for sale!
So if you’re not turned off my my write-up, please, I’m selling my Smile Mi-Fi device for just N7,500 only. It’s just 2 months old and comes complete with all it’s accessories and the box.
If you’re interested, comment your phone number in the comments section below and I’ll call you so we can iron out the details.
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